Thursday, March 20, 2014

Fractured Fairy Tale Contest Entry

It's time again for Susanna Leonard Hill's spring contest.

Welcome to the March Madness Contest. Below is my entry for the twisted traditional tale in under 400 words (395 to be exact.)

Thanks for reading. Pop over the river and through the woods to read the other entries. Mark your calendar for March 27th. That's the day you'll be able to return to Susanna's blog and vote for the finalist who has written the best story.


Without further ado, I present


GOLDIE AND THE THREE SQUIRRELS


        Once upon a time, a little girl named Goldie discovered a little cottage in the woods. The cottage was, in fact, so little that Goldie decided to take it home with her. “C’mon,” she said to her doll, “this will be the perfect house for you and Teddy.” Without another word, Goldie scooped up the cottage and bounded home.
        Goldie didn't know there were three squirrels inside the cottage: a papa, a mama, and a baby squirrel. As Goldie ran, everything inside the little house began to bounce and bump and tumble around. The kitchen chairs crashed against the walls of the little house. Papa Squirrel’s chair knocked a hole in the wall, because it was so hard. Mama Squirrel’s chair knocked her down, but she wasn’t hurt, because it was so soft. Baby Squirrel’s chair knocked into the fireplace and smashed into splinters.
        Papa Squirrel grunted. Mama Squirrel groaned. And Baby Squirrel moaned, “Boo-hoo.”
        As the cottage tipped this way and that, their bowls of acorn soup slid from the table. Papa Squirrel’s soup splattered on his shirt. “Ouch, that’s hot,” he said.
        Mama Squirrel’s soup splattered in her lap. “Brr, that’s cold,” she said.
        Baby Squirrel’s soup flew across the room and splattered against the wall.
        Papa Squirrel steamed. Mama Squirrel sighed. And Baby Squirrel cried, “Boo-hoo.”
        By now Goldie had reached her own bedroom. She put the squirrels' cottage on the floor next to her dolls, but before she could look inside, she heard her mother calling. “Goldie! Time for lunch.”
        When all was quiet, the three squirrels crawled out from under their jumbled furniture and crept into Goldie’s room. The squirrels examined everything. They climbed her bookshelves. They poked in and out of her dresser drawers. They wiped their sticky fur on her curtains, brushed their fluffy tails with her hairbrush, and nibbled some candy from her coat pocket. They searched her toy box. Finally, they explored the big, big bed.
        They were so exhausted from their adventure that Papa Squirrel curled up on the bed post, because it was very hard. Mama Squirrel snuggled into the pillow, because it was very soft. But Baby Squirrel cuddled close to Goldie’s teddy bear and fell fast asleep. Goldie returned to the room and stared wide-eyed at the mess the squirrels had made.

        Papa Squirrel slumbered. Mama Squirrel slept. And Goldie wept, “Boo-hoo.”

46 comments:

  1. What an imaginative story! I love the little cottage with the squirrels inside. Well done!

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    1. Thank-you, Cheryl. Your support means a lot.

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  2. Great job! I love the direction you took this story!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Angela. It was fun to write.

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  3. Hahaha! Very fun, Joanne! Imaginative twist, kid-friendly, very nicely done! :) I love that Goldie picked up the whole cottage and carried it off with her - what a great idea! Thanks so much for joining in the springtime fun :)

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    1. Thanks. We had a bumper crop of squirrels at our bird feeders all winter, so you know what inspired my story.

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  4. I'm with Susanna, I LOVE that the whole house got picked up! Nice job!!! And the interwoven aspects of the story were natural and great fun!

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    1. Thank-you. I'm so encouraged by your comments. This is such a great community.

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  5. What a great story! I love the squirrels and their tiny house!

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    1. Thanks. I originally considered marmosets, but there was a slight draw-back. Did you know most species of marmosets give birth to twins? Who says fiction isn't educational?!

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  6. I also laughed at the cottage being picked up. Great role reversal at the end.

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    1. Thanks, Linda. Consider it a twist at the end of the twisted tale :)

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  7. Joanne...how creative...that is definitely thinking outside the box...I mean, doll-house.:)
    And I love that it is Goldie who finds the 3 squirrels sleeping in her bed...poetic justice.:)
    Great story and lots of fun.

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    1. Thank-you. I went through three other versions of goldilocks before landing on this one. Persistence pays off.

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  8. I love how the house was small enough to take home, Joanne. But I think the squirrels are going to have the last laugh with this story!

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    1. Poor Goldie has learned her lesson. Thanks for your encouraging words.

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    1. Thank-you, Donna. I've really enjoyed participating.

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  10. I loved that you turned it around at the end and made the squirrels sleep in Goldie's bed. Very fun.

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    1. Thank-you. I am looking forward to drawing some illustrations of the scene when my current projects are finished.

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  11. Clever take on Goldilocks! Loved the role reversal in the end with the squirrels! So cute!

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    1. Thanks, Jennifer. Squirrels have a unique ability to be adorable and annoying at the same time. I appreciate your stopping by.

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  12. and it serves her right for stealing someones house. :) a fun rework of goldilocks, well done

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    1. Now that you mention it, I'm not convinced the traditional Goldilocks learned her lesson. Thanks for your kind comments.

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  13. Good descriptive writing. I could "see" the pictures in my head the whole way through.

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  14. What fun that the cottage was doll's house size! Those poor squirrels :)

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    1. I sheepishly admit, I would've taken the cottage home too when I was that age. Thanks for your comments.

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  15. Great twist, very imaginative. Well done!

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  16. This is a fun story! I could totally visualize this in my head. Love that the cottage was doll house size and the ending was not predictable.

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    1. I suppose as an illustrator, I see the pictures in my head before I write them. I've never really thought about it. Thanks for your kind comments.

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  17. Oh! Fantastic! Squirrels creating havoc! I really enjoyed imagining them bumping around in their little house. Great job!

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    1. Hmmm, maybe it should've been a dog house ;) Do you chase squirrels?

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  18. Very fun story . . . I felt for those squirrels being jostled and tossled around. I'm sure they needed that nap.

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    1. Thank-you. They certainly did, especially after they wreaked havoc in her bedroom.

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  19. My favorite part of the story is when the squirrels "inspect" Goldie's room -- so inventive. Wouldn't that scene be fun to illustrate?

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  20. This sounds so realistic. But, my little sister mustn't read it. I can't give her any ideas. ;)

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    1. LOL When I was a kid, we rescued a chipmunk from drowning. We had so much trouble getting it out of the house after it recovered and escaped. I felt a bit like crying myself.

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    1. Thanks, Dawn. It was fun to imagine too.

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  22. Those poor squirrels! A little poetic justice for Goldie, maybe? :-)

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Thank-you for taking time to share your thoughts!